No strings attached...

When losing someone that you love, through a break up, what can a single 20 smthg year old woman do if she finds herself in need of some affection or "winding down"? One night stands, friends with benefits? It might work, unless you are not over your ex. After speaking to a few single gals I have had a unanimous answer, every time they gave themselves to guys they didn't really care for post-break up, they'd end up in tears. So how do you know you are really over someone, or can you ever really get over someone who has had such a strong impact on your life? It suddenly dawned on me, I have been single for a little over a year now but have had huge problems letting myself enjoy fully any sort of connection with the male gender ever since. It seems like part of me shut off on the "emotional availability" side. I am aware that I am not the only one in this situation, which is a good thing in a way but on the other hand it means thats it's an issue for a lot of girls my age & I would like to resolve it. What are we suppose to do? Should we listen to Likke li : "and for you I keep my legs apart and forget about my tainted heart"? Or Is celibacy still an option these days? I got to thinking, if Guys can have sex without feelings but when girls sleep with guys they don't care about, emotions from the past resurface, does it take falling in love to keep our exes out of our beds?