They say it changes when the sun goes down

This summer, my friend Neil and I were just hanging out in his apartment at Playa Vista/Santa Monica & we decided to record ourselves covering When the sun goes down by the Arctic Monkeys.
I fuck up some lyrics, he messes up a couple chords, we start laughing but this is just organic awesomeness so I thought I'd share it with you.

http://therespectproject.com/uploads/CamNeilWhenTheSunGoesDown.wma

to be able to listen to it you need Windows Media Player.

Enjoy!

List of Pet Peeves #1

This is the list of my 10 worse pet peeves in order from the most annoying to the a bit less annoying. If you realize you are doing any of those things, please don't ask me if I noticed because I did and didn't want to be rude enough to lose my shit on you.

1. Ppl touching the food on my plate. Just assuming they can taste. I DO NOT SHARE FOOD!!!!!!!! You WILL get stabbed with a fork in your hand.
2. Ppl who make noise when they eat/eat with their mouth open!!!!!!!!
3. Ppl who interrupt others while they are talking.
4. Ppl who have a know it all attitude & respond condescendingly.
5. Ppl who have God complexes/attention whores.
6. Ppl who whine asking for advice then don't listen & keep on whining for having no solution.
7. Ppl who mention names of ppl you don't know when telling you a story you don't care about, assuming it means something to you or helps you understand.
8. Ppl who are way too conventional, goodie 2 shoes, too religious, who cant live w/ rules
9. "Friends" who go after a person you like, are dating or dated & doesn't care that it hurts.
10. "Friends" who think they can shotgun someone that you saw at the same time.

More pet peeves posts to come.

Perspective

Being a 20 something year old in the city has its perks, you get to party as often as you want without it really affecting the way you look the next day; post coffee, hang over food & a nice warm shower. You can eat junk at 3:30 in the morning and burn it the next day. You don’t have that many responsibilities besides rent & food. Meaning no family tying you down and stopping you from doing whatever it is you want to do, no 9 to 5 career that has taken over your life & no more parents grounding you or having control over what you do. Although they will always ”have a say” since it’s written somewhere in the books of parent’s right. Being a 20 something year old can be pretty damn good.

On the other hand, in your 20s, that’s when you try to “find” yourself, realize what it is you want to do as a career/9-5 for most people. It’s also the time when people get into serious relationships, with the idea in mind that that person might be the one they will end up with. As a woman who has had 2 serious relationships (between 18 and 22), I know that most of the time, when you get into a relationship it’s because you think, at least a little, that the person you are with might be the one, whatever that means. All I’m saying is that as the years pass, when you are in your 20s, the possibility of your partner becoming your husband or wife increases since people don’t want to get into relationships they don’t think are “worth it” anymore. The 20s are your last time “for fun”, being reckless, therefore, instead of dating wildly inappropriately, people stay single until they find someone they are willing to marry. Which is why getting out of a serious relationship is especially hard right now. You thought that person was going to be the one you would marry. That guy you dreamt of as a little girl. You already pictured yourself walking down the aisle with him looking at you. He had the biggest smile on his face, because he thought he was the luckiest man on earth for getting to spend the rest of his life with you.

But the smile disappears and that feeling fades away. It’s back to square one and the members of the opposite sex seem to be crazier than before . You are back in the dating jungle & all those wild animals don’t want to be tamed, neither do you want to tame them. It feels like you are part of a freak show and circuses have never been your forte. That’s when it can take an unexpected turn to casual sex land. It doesn’t even feel wrong anymore because finding “true love” is not in “your cards” and you settle for the momentary satisfaction of being in someone’s arms as they use you as a human receptacle for their bodily fluids. You are very cynical & whinny, therefore don’t attract good guys and are stuck in this vicious cycle of not believing that it is possible to find someone better than your ex because all you see are losers and don’t realize that you are the one bringing this on to yourself by the way you decide to react to life’s downs.

Instead of taking things as they come, you are stuck being angry at the past, and spend all your energy asking what if this and what if that. Get off from your high horses people. Life is what you make it. It seems to me like practically every day, I am told how lucky I am for doing all the things I do and for some things that happen to me. It’s not luck people, I just do whatever I can to get what I want. Once I set my mind on something, I don’t let go. That’s how things work. Each human being has to stop thinking that the more likely outcome is the negative one. That’s how society sets us up to think, or believe that it’s the most logical way of seeing things. The probability of one getting a positive answer vs a negative one is 50/50. If you refuse failure then it is even MORE likely that you will succeed. All you have to do is change your attitude, your outlook on life. When you look at something, depending on the angle you look at it from, where you stand, you will see something completely different. Remember that, change your perspective.

Life is fleeting

On September 7th 2009 I lost my dear grand father to a pneumonia. He was completely fine and in two weeks he just started to look more and more like a corpse & his body shut off, day by day until it took him away.
Today, one of my best friend's step father's body was found in the St-laurent river after being missing since friday sept. 11 afternoon, the day after my grand father's burial.I feel like I'm floating in this completely FUCKED UP WORLD where it can all go to shits in an instant. I'm not even depressed or pessimistic, I still believe that life has an incredible amount of great things in store for me. I just wonder when it's all going to turn around. I'm aware that I have to make things happen for myself but with all these events, it's just quite hard to focus on other things. I just wish I could stop losing people I love, at least for a little while.

:S

To be or not to be

I am so into my book The Power of the Actor! It gives amazing tips, ways to get into a character, to understand why he is responding a certain way. It's giving me confidence that I can do it, it makes me really happy! :)
I have joined this website called helpx.net where I c an see profile of families asking for help either at home, at their farms, B&Bs etc. I checked out england, ireland scotland and australia. Not sure where Ill end up, it depends on the families I guess. It's going to be insane! Anyone who wants to come with me, please grow the balls and do it. most of these places ask for more than one person. They give you a room and food everyday, some also pay. so if you have money for the flight, just pack up and LEAVE WITH ME! It's going to be a sick opportunity and girls, C'mon! british boys with sexy accents? Damn, how can you resist? Im going there to find my faithful Jude Law. Boys, there are going to be tons of girls loving your foreign accent, you know you want to be that guy. The one who is only staying there for a while so girls fall in love since its impossible and he gets laid repeatedly.

Anyway, just a thought, Im doing it, I just like the possibility of inspiring people

take care kiddies

Cam
xoxo

Dilemma Dilemma

For months now I said that I would move to New York in september. It is still possible, but for some reason my mind is wandering round and thinking that I might want to go somewhere else first. I thought maybe a few months in europe would be cool. U.K men might just be what I need haha, I won`t need to dream of Jude Law or Alex turner anymore! Then New York pops in my head again, but soon enough L.A comes creeping in and Toronto is just always so much fun-I already have a good crew here. Australia has always been my dream so why not?

As you can see, I need help, directions, because pretty soon, it`ll be me- a hat- a beer- all those countries(or cities) in the hat-a witness- a blink 182 song and THAT IS IT!

God, please help me make the best decision for me and what I am looking for ok?

Oh also God, If you could throw in a couple amazing sexy time sessions in the near future, much appreciated!

Thanks!

Realizations

For most people it takes something drastic, a tragedy, to make them realize that life is fleeting and that there is no time to waste wishing and hoping for our dreams to come true. I've had my share of tragedy. You have to make it happen for yourself. For most of my life I was the girl sitting in a corner, eyes staring at the sky, daydreaming about what my future would turn out to be. Visualization is very important but it has to go further than that. I was always too afraid to pursue my dreams because failure, to me, was far worse than not trying. I have finally come to the point where I've had enough with my excuses not to go ahead and make shit happen!
Ever since I can remember, I've dreamt of being an actress and a singer/songwriter. I am AWARE that a lot of people have the same dream. I am also aware that it's REALLY hard to make it, but can you tell me why in the WORLD I would pick a job that's easy to do/get that I DON'T want to do? Financial security? Don't worry about me I'll be fine. I can have a normal job as I pursue my dreams and if all else fails, I can finish school and get another good job. Any who, I am straying from my main topic, I have SUCH a deep passion for acting, singing and writing that I cannot picture myself doing ANYTHING ELSE. As a little girl, I would write songs and perform in front of my family, I'd make plays and always be the lead role. I remember watching the little mermaid over and over just to remember the words and act it out. It's just always been part of me, not for the fame and fortune but just for the rush I felt whenever I would play another character. It utterly terrifies me but it's also the most liberating feeling, to just be someone else. It's a totally different kind of terrifying when I write songs or when I perform in front of people. So far, I can count on one hand the amount of people who heard songs that I wrote, because the thought of them knowing exactly how I feel and judging me scares the SHIT out of me! It makes me feel completely naked & it usually takes me a couple drinks for either to happen! I just finished reading this article about a certain actor who said that he considers himself as very shy but people around him don't see it and he realized that like really obviously good looking people who use to be chubby, they still see themselves, as the way they were when they were younger. It makes a lot of sense, because whenever I tell people I'm shy, they look at me like they don't know what I'm talking about since I'm very sociable and out spoken, but the little girl in me is still there and she blushes easily, hates public speaking & just wants people to accept her for who she is. I just came back from California, I finally went to Disney Land after 23 years of waiting. I loved it! It only confirmed how much I want to act. How else will I be able to play and be in different worlds without either going to Disney every single day or acting?! Exactly! I bought 2 books for myself. One is called the Power of the Actor. I started reading it in Vancouver but had to fly back home and it wasn't mine. It was a great book. The other one is called Auditioning an actor friendly guide. The woman who wrote it was an actress AND a casting agent, so she knows the two sides of the auditioning process, which is a HUGE PLUS!! The major reason why I never truly pursued acting was because of the audition. Just the thought of having people watching me and me having to give it my all without actually having someone to act WITH, made me want to vomit. Whenever I see people auditioning in movies or on shows, I get SO nervous for them. My favorite part of watching movies is to watch the behind the scenes, I love seeing how they shot some scenes and why they picked the actors etc. I picture myself as the lead girl and the director talking about me. I was just watching Rachel McAdams' screen test and I felt SO nervous for her, I wanted her to nail it you know? and of course she did since she is in the notebook, but I was putting myself in her shoes and just imagining how I would have done it and if I would have been able to let all my emotions come out like she did. It was very intense, but it also clarified why I deserve to let myself do this. This is my true love, it's real, and I should not give up on it, this one is for life, for better or for worse!

Now watch me GO!

BuzzLight Year!

Here is a sneak peek of my Disney Experience.

2 day break

Well Hello fellow bloggers!

                                                I'm finally back in Montreal, not for long though, I'm flying to L.A Wednesday afternoon! New York was interesting, I did a lot of cool things; went to the Met, different restaurants, BBQs, Parties, Birthdays, walked around a lot, Ate dinner at a restaurant by myself, Learnt how to read a map and use the Subway with no one's help,Stayed in Queens then Brooklyn, walked alone in central park, made good friends, realized that some of them were not as cool as I thought... All in all it was a good trip... It's been good, getting to know me more

             I really am everywhere this year, it's pretty cool. In ONE MONTH I went to:

Toronto, Ontario

Vancouver, British Coloumbia

George,Washington

New York city, New York

In less than 48 hours I will be able to add L.A to the list and somewhere in the next 3 weeks, Vegas as well :)

Los Angeles C'mon shake it baby!

16 days left...

It's gonna be CLASSIC!

Single & Fabulous!

Finally, a quiet night with nothing but my ideas. I missed the sound of silence, the calm of my room. It's been a hectic month and it's not about to slow down. My birthday is now only 2 days away. I'm turning 23. How dreadful right? Somehow I don't feel as mortified as I thought I would be. For me, 23 always meant the beginning of the end but things seem to be turning round. It's almost palpable & I cannot WAIT  for that moment. That single instant where I will know, that it is FINALLY happening, what I've ALWAYS  been waiting for.

I'm feeling very independent. Being a single 20 something year old girl can be tough but it is also very empowering to accomplish things on your own. I don't need a man ;)

I'm having the best time of my life, traveling, networking & finding ways to realize my dreams. A boyfriend would only slow me down

 

[Says the girl as she sighs & looks into the distance, she feels lonely]

I am celebrating my birthday this friday at Ros&lina with tons of my "closest" friends & then I will continue celebrating the day Camelia popped into this world and out of... (yes I have to at least be a LITTLE CRUDE) bar hopping on St-Laurent where a lot more of all my "closest" acquaintances will show up and buy me drinks/Champagne highly suggested! June 12 1986 will be acknowledged twice, this time, in New York City on June 18th in a huge club where my friend Eddie will be working. I can't wait to see the turn out!

 Next stop, 

                   City of Angels. I have been dying to meet you for years. The time has come for our paths to cross. This is going to change me, I know it. Stef & I have been dying to go together for 5 years now, the wait is over. 

   Road trip, 

                  Sin City. Just thinking of you turns my grin into a smile. I can't say much, other than WATCH OUT! I have a feeling something very close to "the hangover" will come out of it. I would not be surprised to be coming back with a green card if you know what I mean?

Life is good, life is good. It would be even greater if I could get 2 Blink 182 tickets for their show at the Molson Amphitheater on August 8th in Toronto (as a birthday present). Tickets go on sale today. I don't have a credit card so it's difficult for me to make the transaction. 

Here is hoping!

I am not dead

I just want y'all to know that I haven't blogged in a while since I've been traveling all over the place & now that I'm back home, my friend Emily from toronto is staying with me so I have no time. Maybe this weekend ill sit down and write a few of my crazy traveling stories!!!!

On this note I'll just mention that my travel list is way shorter now since I've been to: Toronto, Vancouver, drove through Seattle, Camped at the Gorge in George Washington, went back to vancouver for a couple days, then back to toronto for a few days. 

My birthday is coming up (in 10 days) still don't know what I want to do though. 

I'm also going to celebrate it in New York, which should be SICK!

Try to figure out what Im thinking about by just looking very carefully at this picture. I have just noticed myself something I never saw in it before and that completely describes me in 2 words!

Wow I love it!!

Things to do

• Get knee to bend to 115 degrees in the next 2 days so I can start going on the bike :)
• Plan my trip to Vegas
• Get more pain killers
• Fill out my Med application
• Soak up the sun so I don't look like a Ghost when I get to L.A
• Continue Learning Japanese
• Finish at least 4 songs and record them as an E.P
• Cough get laid Cough
• Bikini shopping
• Get a bag pack & choose carefully the clothes I will bring to Vancouver.
• Master the Pimp look with my cane.
• Cut my hair
  

Fun Fact, I will show you the way to carry food when you are on crutches.

It's amazing how one can find ways to get around 

when they are handicapped & have no one to help ;)