I've been waking up at 3pm for as long as I can remember (since classes ended)
So I got to thinking; Could be I suffering from the Holiday season blues?
Huge possibility.
I can't seem to recall my last good Christmas and I mean REALLY GOOD CHRISTMAS, where you are overly exited because all your family is coming over(and you actually like them), tons of gifts are under the tree , christmas spirit is in the air, the house smells of delicious turkey, you are listening to Mariah Carey and country singers playing Christmas covers while wearing a really pretty dress, your dad dresses up as Santa Claus & christmas movies are on every channel.
Those were the REALLY GOOD CHRISTMASES. Then I turned 12 and I was "too old" for this "kids stuff", so no more gifts, no more trees, no more Santa, no more cake, no more christmas movies or cute fluffy dresses. It just became a supper with a couple people from my moroccan side of the family who NEVER celebrated christmas and IT SUCKS.
3 years ago, I got a call on Christmas eve from my friend saying our friend got hit by a drunk driver and he died on impact since he broke his neck. This is never something you want to happen but if it happens on Christmas it kind of gives it a new meaning for the rest of your life. The next Christmas didnt happen.
Last year, the closest thing I had to christmas was a quick meal with my friend mami and "the ex" at a greek restaurant in Vancouver (with a huge brace on my leg) , no snow and then we got on a plane back to montreal in the middle of the night.
So now, let me ask you, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I POSSIBLY BE HAVING THE HOLIDAY SEASON BLUES?
All I wanted this Christmas was to cuddle next to the fireplace and watch a few movies while my dad would make sweet food. As of 10 days now I have no one to cuddle with.
What a bummer.
well since this is completely appropriate, the song for today is called 10 days, it's from my favorite female singer Missy Higgins.
"Well its been 10 days, without you in my reach, and the only time Ive touched you was in my sleep. Cuz baby time has changed, nothing at all. You're still the only one that feels like home.I try cutting the ropes, try to let you go, but you're still the only one that feels like home."
4 comments:
i don't even celebrate christmas, but i'm sad i won't be celebrating it the way i celebrated it for the past 2 years...however, before that christmas was inexistant to me. but i can understand how you are feeling dear. and i really want to see you soon so we can cuddle by the fireplace.
that would be really nice actually :)
I hate cuddling at night. I guess my exes and my future bfs are lucky cuz most guys need their space when they sleep (episode of friends: hug then ROLL)
but cuddling next to a fireplace while drinking hot coco and watching a movie sounds amazing!
Christmas won't be the same for me either. Things just suddenly change too fast and its so unexpected and you end up feeling so alone because you know all other families are celebrating what you once had. Missy Higgins is one of my faves too. I hope you'll be okay.
thank you anonymous, may I ask you why you feel the need to hide your identity?
I would love to know who you are since I have had a few comments from you already. Of course that's if all the anonymous comments I've had are from you.
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